Photo reblogged from Zack Shapiro
Dolphins: Cold-Blooded Killing Machines
Kids are stupid. Naively, they choose dolphins as their favorite animals. Kids claim that dolphins are lovely creatures of the sea, that they exist solely to jump out of the water and hit red balls with their bottle-noses, do flips in the air and lastly, that dolphins are cuddly animals that could just as easily be adopted as a dog or a cat. This is false. Dolphins are heartless, cold-blooded killing machines.
Every year dolphins are responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of animals around the world. Giraffes, Rhinoceros, Mackerel, Cod, Chimpanzees, and most importantly, Humans. Those who are short-sighted can’t see dolphins’ reach outside of the water in which it lives but trust me dear reader, dolphins sneak up on the shores of Africa late at night and brutally murder young safari creatures.
Every year there is at least one kid, one small kid who mistakenly falls into a dolphin tank at his or her local aquarium upon which time the dolphins swarm and kill him or her because, due to their shitty eyesight, they can’t see anything.
It has come time to educate our kids to choose a less volatile favorite animal. A tree frog perhaps. Maybe a sloth or an animal with horns, not one that has recreational sex and kills creatures of the African savanna.
But, but… dolphin olympics 2, and so long and thanks for all the fish!
Source: zackshapiro
